angst

I'm having another angst-filled evening. The kids went to bed early, lunches are made for preschool tomorrow, and here I sit, literally reading through every China adoption-related page I have bookmarked. I have some of these kids' faces memorized, am up to date on all the sleeping and pooping issues on the ones just home, am eagerly awaiting one's first Gymboree experience...it is exhausting! I know that true exhaustion won't start til I am jet-lagged and dealing with three young children on my own, but until then, this is bad. And the thing is, I KNOW that once I have her picture in front of me, the next 2 months of waiting to travel will be WORSE! I am so grateful that I have the boys to distract me, at least during their waking hours. I don't know how the first-timers do it. Ugh, I'm going to bed. Good thing I have a cold and can take NyQuil...this would be a sleepless night otherwise.