Monday, August 14, 2006

Piecing it together

I am always disappointed when I check one of my favorite blogs and there is no picture! So, here is another bday shot of Miss Mae with her favorite purse. She loves that thing (so do her brothers!) and I think the phone is her favorite, with the credit card coming in a close 2nd. Start 'em young, right?
I wanted to blog a little bit about this recent bout with anti-attachment. I was ready for some issues at the beginning but am quite surprised to see it developing here at home. I have some thoughts though. Today, during the 30+ min drive to get the boys at Farm Camp, Mae screamed. She screamed like she screamed last Thursday and the Wednesday before that, and the Monday before that. Do you know what that Monday was? Her vaccines. She had been starting to push away the week before as well. I remember being relieved that her photo shoot went so well because she was so grumpy. Perhaps the ear infection was starting right then. In other words, both an ear infection and a ton of vaccines can make a person feel bad. Maybe she is starting to feel comfortable here with us. Comfortable enough to throw a royal fit when she's not feeling well. I took her in for an ear re-check today, as well as to ask what, if anything, we could check for, since she had screamed for upwards of 2 hours today for no apparent reason. Of course, at the time she was happily playing on the floor with Ted with trucks (why do kids do that?!) Our ped was booked so we have been seeing another, who is so sweet and very thorough. She made sure to look at her charts and see exactly what vaccines she was given. She noted that Mae had a mild rash (probably heat rash-she really gets hot and sweaty when she has one of her fits) and to keep an eye on it since it could be an 'amoxycillin rash.' Hmm. Good to know! Anyway, the last 3 weeks have been really, really hard. And I really appreciate everyone who has stepped up to offer their thoughts and support. It means a lot. I'm sorry I've been preoccupied lately. I'm sorry to my parents that I've barely kept in contact at all (thanks for the call today, Dad!) and I'm sorry to my friends who I've put on the back burner while I unload this stuff onto the shoulders of my other friends who have adopted. I couldn't do this without all the support of all of you. And I'm here to say that we are getting through it. We will go back in 2-3 days if she is still screaming. Her ears are looking much better and she has slept like a log at night for the last 2 nights so we know the meds are working. She is walking by only holding on to one finger and can stand up by herself (she usually falls over when she claps for herself...good lesson there though...) She is eating everything in sight and gradually adjusting to the milk/formula combo. She is doing great...I don't mean to make it sound like she's regressing and miserable. Hopefully, she is secure enough with us to let us have it when we don't meet her needs. Thanks for being there for us all.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ellen - I'm sorry you guys are going through a bit of a hard time. Phoebe has also thrown some pretty big screaming tantrums herself and I know they can be such a guessing game (is she hurt?, is she still grieving from abandonment/adoption?, is she just plain MAD in a general one-year-old way?) Anyway, hang in there!

Leslie Kullman

Beth and Shayna said...

I am glad to hear Mae is sleeping and hopefully getting better. We are all here for each other, this is what it is all about, right? Thinking of you.

Trixie said...

When she screams and when you can manage it (driving makes it hard), just hold her and whisper to her. Sometimes all the yelling is just a case of needing some time "in" with mom or dad. Attachment is a funny beast. I only hope I can figure it all out when our turn comes.

**BTW, what's her spending limit on that credit card?**