Sleep Suggestions

Today I had an hour counseling session with a sleep therapist at Red Threads, the CCAI Counseling Center. Wow. As Jen (the therapist) put it: "I can tell you don't like what I'm telling you." I don't know what I thought, but I had hoped it wouldn't involve a location change. Ah well. I told myself when we got close to referral that I would do whatever I had to do to make Mae's transition smooth. If she was in foster care and co-slept, we would co-sleep (and I am not into that at all.) If she was used to a crib mate, I would set up the co-sleeper thingee attatched to our bed. I was all ready. Well. She slept in a crib by herself, so that was easy. Or so we thought. After talking with Jen, she thinks that (and this is VERY VERY common and the #1 thing Jen does with adoptive families, so we are not alone) her Amygdala is over-sensative. This is the part of the brain that provides the 'fight or flight' response. In a 'normal' baby, the parent functions as the developing hippocampus, reassuring the baby whenever he is startled. Although the ratio of 1 nanny to 4 babies was excellent, Mae probably didn't get the reassurance she needed all of the time, so her Amygdala freaks out at any threat. Waking up is scary, although most 14-month olds can scream once, look around, recognize their room, and self-soothe themselves back to sleep. A 5-month old can't though...how many 5-month olds sleep through the night? (Some, because Ted did, but not all). So. Here is our plan of attack:

• Be pro-active. She tends to wake every 1.5 hrs, so I am to go in every hour (before I go to bed myself) to pat her on the head. This might awaken her slightly, re-set her sleep pattern, and allow her to sleep through the normal waking time.
• Go in EVERY SINGLE TIME she cries. While some of her crying is not desperate, it may speed the process if I go in each time. "Every time Mommy will come" is the message we need to get across.
  
• Be calm and nurturing. Being angry or emotion-less will not help the situation. Things may improve dramatically simply by being in-tune to her emotions.
  

So there you have it. Paul and I were talking tonight and while we were on vacation she was doing pretty well...and I was in the room with her. So we are going to try me sleeping in her room on a mattress and calming her from there. We'll see how it goes. I am to call Jen back in 2 weeks to report how things are going.

*yawn* Wish us luck.