the equal point

These pictures were taken on MAE DAY. The first is about 2 minutes after she was handed to me. The 2nd is from that afternoon, after her first bottle and nap with me. This anniversary, even more than the one year anniversary coming up in May, is a huge milestone, from the adoption standpoint. Beginning today, we have had Mae as long as she was in the orphanage. From this day forward, everything we do will continue to have more and more security for her. Perhaps this is too much psychological babble, but I have looked forward to this day for months. And we are here! Phew.
Yesterday in the car, she was having one of her "I want something right now even though you're driving" screaming fits. I was so annoyed. And it occured to me that I was annoyed at her because she was being annoying...I would have been annoyed at any of the kids in that same situation. Realizing that she is simply my (annoying in the car) daughter now, adopted or not, reflects that it has taken me this long to fully accept her, too. Sometimes I think I am frustrated with her because I 'must not have bonded to her well enough yet"...but yesterday I realized that I'm frustrated with her sometimes because she can be maddening! But the bonding has happened, and continues to happen every day. She's my daughter. She pushes buttons I didn't know I had, day in and day out. But maybe that's not because we haven't bonded; it's probably because we are so much alike. As mothers and daughters usually are.