Saturday, July 22, 2006

to cry or not to cry

In a parenting class at CCAI, we were told that most of the babies are holding some sadness/abandonment/anger/fear in their bodies. They might never realize it, but it's in there. Massage was suggested as a way to help release the tension they are carrying. Well, Mae loves her baby massage so we're just using it as a nice bonding thing. But I've noticed that she will often wake from her nap or in the morning very sad. The cry is just different and sometimes she'll see me, then close her eyes, as if to will herself back to what she was expecting to see. This doesn't happen all the time and truthfully the boys were always pretty grumpy after a long sleep too. I am torn between 1.) distracting her with a toy or food (easy to do) or 2.) sitting in the rocker and holding her while she cries (hard for me, of course). But maybe it's better to let her cry now. If I constantly stop her from grieving, will it be harder for her later on? Is this truly an adoption issue, or is she just having low blood sugar moments? Hard to say. Til I decide, I'm letting her cry for a little while (in my arms, not alone) but not too long. Then we change the scene, offer some food or entertainment, and move on. The boys are very upset when she cries like that and always want to cheer her up. I welcome any thoughts on the matter.


Anonymous said...

"I'm letting her cry for a little while (in my arms, not alone) but not too long"
I think your instincts are right on this one. She could be grumpy, many babies are when they wake. However, if she needs a good cry and seems out of sorts upon waking why not cuddle and comfort her a bit and then move on.

Ayi Susu

Bee's Blog said...

I have had some challenges somewhat like this and wondering if it is a adoption bonding issue or something that is correct for her age. I am not sure I have a solution, but you are not alone right now. A little hug and kiss never hurt, right?