sentiment

I love this 'poem' and thought I'd share it with you all:

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
but still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute
you didn't grow under my heart, but in it!

Perhaps it's because we KNOW we are next, but time is starting to whiz by. I can't believe we will see our little girl's face SOON. How is it possible to love her so completely already, before we even know who she is?

...and in other news...

And just so no one accuses me of playing favorites, here is a cute pic of Sam. This was taken back in December when we took the holiday photos. He is doing so well in preschool. He hasn't had any potty accidents and apparently plays mostly on his own inside but takes over the playground outside! His teachers tell me he is a natural leader, but because he is younger he is a bit timid. I bet he will be so happy next year, as the big kid. He is trying to give up his nap on preschool days, which I fight against as valiently as I can. He must be exhausted, considering his crib is gone and he has to sleep in his bed now. He's been getting up frighteningly early (5am today) but at least he is sleeping through the night in his bed. He helped me bake muffins this afternoon for playgroup tomorrow-he's a tough cookie but a sweet one!

preschool musings

This sweet picture of Ted was taken when he was 2.5, right after he started preschool at the JCC. He went on Tue/Thu from 9-1. There were 3 teachers in his class but the 'lead' teacher, Jeanne, was his favorite. She is firm but amazingly patient and loving. She is everything you could ever hope for in a child's teacher. By some stroke of good fortune, not only did Ted's Tue/Thu class remain intact (all the kids went to MWF this year) but Jeanne was again their lead teacher. Ted had some issues at the start of the school year and Jeanne was always so willing to talk to me and offer suggestions. Her #1 tip was to have Paul roughhouse with him more at home. He did and his wild behavior became much less of an issue at school. In dealing with the violin teacher predicament, I chatted with her and she told me something today that thrills me but also worries me a little. She confided that she is planning to 'recommend' that Ted be placed in a certain Pre-K class next year, not the other one. The other teacher, she said, is too strict for Ted. It is so important for the teacher and student to compliment each other at this young age, she said. Be willing to step in and demand he be switched to another teacher once he reaches public school, if he has problems at school, she emphasized. Ted will continue to be the sweet and loving child he is now, as long as the teacher knows how to deal with him. I've heard that before-Jeanne says you can't ever just attempt to shut him down when he's done something wrong. He requires a thorough discussion about the ins and outs of the situation and then he is over it and completely willing to change his behavior in the future. All this is a bit disturbing to me-who knew my mellow son was so particular? But then, it is also very exciting to have such an insight into his psyche, from a teacher's point of view. I seldom have the patience to talk to him about his infractions, preferring to focus on the person he has upset. And he deals with that, because I'm his mom and he has no choice. But what a pearl of wisdom for a parent: here is how your child works; deal with him this way and he will show you his best side. I didn't have a New Year's Resolution this year but I am making one now. I resolve to treat my child with the same love and patience that will help make him the happy and peaceful child he truly is. I can only hope Sam & Mae will be able to have Jeanne as a teacher sometime in their JCC experience.

Happy Year of the Dog!

Tomorrow is the official day of Chinese New Year this year. My cyber-friend Epin, from my Yahoo! adoption board, had a lovely thing to say to us today:

I want to wish everyone a very happy new year. This upcoming year is a very lucky one since it will have 2 springs (because early CNY this year and a late one next year). How appropriate that you will welcome your child during this special year.

I love it! What a neat tidbit of information, that this year is a special one because it will have two springs! This is the character for Spring. The Chinese call the New Year's Celebration the "Spring Festival." This particular calligraphy is a reproduction of the work of one of master calligrapher Zhao Mengfu's (1254-1322).

Referrals are here

CCAI is verifying and translating today and will call families tomorrow morning. One HUGE step forward...

weather & eggs

She's done it again! Shayna's mom's blog always seems to have the newest gizmo...first the clock, now the weather! I think my dad will like this feature the best-he always wants to know what the weather is like where I am. Pretty neat!

So...ever wonder what an almost-4-year-old and a 2.5-year-old do at 5:30am while their parents slumber? Try and fix eggs for breakfast, according to Ted. *sigh* Don't worry, we are locking the gate at the top of the stairs from now on...

We have the REAL violin!

Yippee Ai Aye! Today we had our first lesson with Miss Jessie, on the advice of his former teacher, Miss Vari. It went really well. He listened well, even when the lesson went on a little long and he was tired. She brought out his violin after he had shown her what he could do. The 1/16th size violin has got to be the cutest thing I have ever seen! He learned how to bow "Mississippi Stop Stop" and got some tape on the bow to show him where to bow. I hope hope hope that he responds to Jessie better and that he does a better job 'listening' at his lessons. One nice thing about studying with Jessie is that he will now know the same wording to the rhythms, songs and activities at group, since she is also his group teacher. That had him upset some of the time. Hooray hooray!

through May 14

Referrals are in the mail, supposedly LIDs through May 14. CCAA reported that on their page early this morning but the site has been down all day. So, no referral for us this week but NEXT MONTH is us for sure!!

the 'referral' page

The other night I created some webpages for when we receive the referral, and later, when we travel to China. I designed the referral page with Sam's pic on it for now and with referral information from a friend on my Yahoo! board. That way, when the exciting call comes, I'll be able to quickly update the information and pictures before we dash out the door to drive to our agency. I think I will add Mae's referral picture to our main index page. Then clicking on her picture will bring you to 'the Referral page' which will have links to the Travel pages as well as a link back to the main homepage. Fun fun fun!! It will be an exciting moment to email all of our wonderfully supportive friends and family telling them to CHECK THE HOMEPAGE!!! Not long now...

Isn't this cute? I have all of Sam's ultrasounds but Ted's I had laminated for his scrapbook...and they melted! Live and learn...

watch out world, I'm getting fancy!

Check the sidebar on the left and notice my new, fancy-shmancy "Time in China" section. Woo hoo! Thanks to Shayna's mom for giving me the idea! I have a "Time in China" homepage bookmarked, and particularily when a "cyber-friend" is in China, I check it constantly. It always helps to know when the updates will be done, and realizing that it's 4am in China or something makes waiting for a daily update bearable. So, hooray for clocks! China is 15 hours ahead of us right now. Yawn! This is actually pretty nice...right when we are winding down and getting ready for a few hours of "evening", people in China are about an hour or so into their activities for the day. It makes communication by phone or "email chat" pretty easy to do, when both parties are awake enough to enjoy it!
Soooo many hopes and expectations that referrals will be mailed Monday and received, translated and calls given by the end of next week. We won't be in this batch I'm sure (about a 10% chance that we would be...) but since this is the LAST batch before ours, it is that much more exciting.
In standard Colorado news, we all ate at Red Robin for an early dinner and both boys (*gasp*) actually ATE their meals, sat in their seats and didn't pitch a fit! Yes, you heard right, BOTH boys behaved. How lovely! Ted broke the crib tent 2 nights ago so last night Sam slept in his bed all night. That was great, but we were at a party til late so it's not really indicative of the future. We put them to bed by 7pm tonight, to give them a few hours to get their giggles out. No one is crying yet...after having tried this for WEEKS AND WEEKS back in September, we so hope it will go a little smoother this time!!

blizzard

Oh, to be a kid again!! (more pics on the homepage.)

mah jongg

Last night I hosted a pick up game for my maj group. It's funny...maj is a game invented by the Chinese and also played, in a very different, easier version, by Jews. Isn't that a wild connection? I plan to purchase a maj set while in China. While we already plan to teach the boys bridge, it will be a blast to teach maj to my Jewish Chinese daughter!

In adoption news, rumors from the Spain folks state that CCAA has matched through 5/12. Not bad! I keep checking their website...that's where they will state how far into May they matched.

CCAA is matching!!!

This was posted on my agency's website this morning:

We have learned that the CCAA is working on the next group of matches. We believe this group will include the rest of our April 2005 LID families. We hope that they will include some early May 2005 LIDs as well.

Since we are a late May LID it is doubtful that we will be matched NEXT WEEK (!) but how exciting that there will be two referral groups in January. This means our referral is that much closer now. My birthday is next Thursday...

angst

I'm having another angst-filled evening. The kids went to bed early, lunches are made for preschool tomorrow, and here I sit, literally reading through every China adoption-related page I have bookmarked. I have some of these kids' faces memorized, am up to date on all the sleeping and pooping issues on the ones just home, am eagerly awaiting one's first Gymboree experience...it is exhausting! I know that true exhaustion won't start til I am jet-lagged and dealing with three young children on my own, but until then, this is bad. And the thing is, I KNOW that once I have her picture in front of me, the next 2 months of waiting to travel will be WORSE! I am so grateful that I have the boys to distract me, at least during their waking hours. I don't know how the first-timers do it. Ugh, I'm going to bed. Good thing I have a cold and can take NyQuil...this would be a sleepless night otherwise.

mornin' mom!

This picture is about a week old, but one morning last week Ted came downstairs dressed for the day-in this outfit. Not only did we crack up that he was wearing a swimsuit on a 40 degree morning, but it was SAM'S swimsuit and a size (or two) too small. He cracks me up.

Last Friday, Ted showed Sam the finer points of cookie decorating, i.e., forget the cookie! Icing is the highlight of this activity! Sam got right on it.

4:45 pm...too early?

Hmmm...I felt slightly guilty about it but today at 4:45 I poured myself a small glass of wine and sat back to watch the kiddos eat dinner. Today was a fun day, complete with a great playdate and rest/nap time, but somehow, by 4:45 I was ready to be finished keeping the two of them from killing each other. Friday of last week was REALLY hard and today wasn't bad at all but...the wine helped! I cheered up and managed to get Sam to eat an ENTIRE serving of Mac N Cheese and about 15 edamame pods-hooray! We have switched to soy nut butter (because of Rachel's allergies I can't send PB to school anyway...) and both boys love it. When Ted was much younger I would spread almond butter on crackers and he'd gobble it up. I haven't done that in a while and did it today to great success. Tonight Tara and I met up to address the kids' party invitations. Should be another fun one at Pump It Up! I'm happy that the kids are still able to share a party...they are so different from each other now that they barely can manage to play together, but at least they still love to bounce and eat cake! Now that they have their special birthday jumpsuits they are ready for their big day! I can't believe Ted is going to be FOUR years old. Where does the time go? I can remember my chubby 6 month old cherub as if it was yesterday...I do miss that age sometimes. He was so cute and innocent and couldn't do anything wrong! He was everything I had ever dreamed of in a baby- and how quickly he grew into a saucy, stubborn little boy (just like his mom-hmmm.) Still, there is definately something inherently special about Ted...whether it's because he's the first born, or because he is (usually) a mellow kid...he is a great little person. But wow, I do miss the bliss of a sweet little baby. Sam, on the other hand, gets more and more fun (and easier too!) as he ages. He is such a joy right now, so proud of his 'big boy' accomplishments. He is quite the momma's boy (on a hike Sunday ONLY MAMA could carry him-ugh!!) but I have to admit, it is a nice feeling to be needed. I wonder where Mae will fit in...what will her personality be like? What will be her "good age" that I will always look on as 'the best times'? I can't wait to meet you, little one!

the shoebox

Once the referral arrives, the major thing to do besides accept the match is to ship a 'shoebox sized' package to our daughter at her orphanage. There are some standard things that everyone sends, and there are always a few key items that you just HOPE they will keep with them. Here is what is in Mae's shoebox:

*2 disposable cameras with instructions in Mandarin (2 in case 1 breaks)
*a white baby cap
*a set of plastic keys
*the pink bunny
*THE outfit (in pic)
*a squishy baby photo album with pics of us & names labeled in Mandarin

The pink ladybug outfit was the very first item I ever purchased, right after our application was accepted by our agency. I had been mulling over which outfit to send, especially since there is no guarentee you will ever see any of those items again (and it is recommended that you duplicate the stuffed animal and toy). I can't even imagine how surreal it would be to arrive ready to receive our daughter and see her in her own outfit! It happens sometimes, but not often, so we'll just have to see what happens. There should be another batch of referrals coming out before Chinese New Year (which is January 29th this year) and then the NEXT batch will be ours.

whinge

'Whinge' is a word my English friend Lou uses when describing whining. I love that word. I am feeling whingey today. I am tired of waiting for this referral. Everyone under the sun asks me all the time "Have you heard anything from China?" like someone is just going to ring me up one day and say, "Hey! Got your girl here! Want to come get her?" Bless their hearts, I appreciate their interest, but this has got to be the frustration an elephant feels while pregnant. What is their gestation anyway, 18 months or something? It's been a year now...a year since beginning the paperwork. And 2 looooong months since Thanksgiving, which is when we had thought all along that we were getting our referral. Whinge whinge. Come on already! We're looking at March now for a referral. Blah. It's so frustrating.

my little pratapowpow

Sam still loves to watch Baby Einstein videos. At the start, a caterpillar inches his way across the screen, smiling at the viewer. Since starting preschool Sam is now in the habit of screeching excitedly: "He's a pratapowpow! I a pratapowpow!!" at the top of his lungs. Too cute.

blast from the past

In the Fall of '04 and Spring of '05, Ted and Sam both took separate Kindermusik classes from a wonderful teacher named Elsa. Elsa had her first baby in September of '05 and took some time off. I decided to check her website, to see if she was teaching again, so that I could enroll Sam or possibly Mae. Well, her once-small website was brimming with wonderful pictures of the children in class. I love this picture of Ted-Randy (the same photographer who took our dossier pics) captured Ted in all his mischievousness and joy. It was the day before Halloween, obviously!

referrals calls went out yesterday

...and what a joyous day on our board! It was wonderful to see all the referral postings. All the girls are so cute! Some bug got me so I've been under the weather but this afternoon I feel a bit perkier, so hopefully I'm on the mend. The preschool was kind enough to let Sam go to preschool today (normally I will take him to PALs, a Mom & me class at the preschool) so I got a nice nap in this morning. He had a great day at preschool today, so I am thrilled with his acceptance of this new phase of his life. This afternoon Tara and I are booking the kids' birthday party at Pump It Up! again. They had such a great time last year, and for the two of them to actually have something in common is rare and a cause for celebration! Rachel is going to have a princess cake and I expect Ted will want a Power Rangers one...I'm going to try and steer him towards something a bit less...violent! but we'll see.

Day 2

Day 2 seems to have gone well. He cried in the hallway on the way from Ted's classroom to his own, but calmed down right away when he saw his class and the little play food out on one of the tables. I'm so happy he's doing well. Today was the 2nd day in a row he napped in his bed too. Hooray! Both Monday and today his nap shortened from 3 hours to 1.5, so that's a bummer. At least it means both boys are tucked in by 7pm!

In other news, referrals arrived today for families logged in before April 25. There are several 4/19 families on my board, so tomorrow will be an exciting day for them! Not long now...

meanwhile

"Meanwhile," suggests Kazuko Okakura, our former Minister of Culture, "let us have a sip of tea. The afternoon glow is brightening the bamboos, the fountains are bubbling with delight, the soughing of the pines is heard in the kettle. Let us dream of evanescence, and linger in the beautiful foolishness of things."

My best friend Rosa sent so many lovely little gifts for Hanukkah. I thought the Frangos were going to be my favorite, but instead I have fallen in love with the special "After Meal" tea. It is the Orange Ginger Mint by The Republic of Tea (caffeine free). It contains ginger, orange bergamot mint, anise hyssop, lemon thyme and blackberry leaves. It is really different and soothing. Thank you!! And after re-reading "Memoirs of a Geisha" I especially liked the quote (above) that was reproduced on the tea's container.

Two words are so beautifully used in context that I was fairly certain of their meanings, but decided to look them up just to be sure.
soughing: a soft murmuring or rustling sound
evanescence: the event of fading and gradually vanishing from sight

he's a big boy now

Today was the big day. Sam was one of three new Caterpillars at preschool and, according to his teachers and the director (who checked on him for me) he had a great day. No potty accidents, he ate his lunch, apparently he was running around the playgroup yelling "Let's go! Let's go!" so he had fun there too! He sobbed his little heart out when we left, but one of his teachers picked him up and redirected him to some playdoh and all was well! We are so lucky; his PALs teacher will be one of his three teachers! So, that made it extra nice, since she knows him and he knows her. What a big boy!! (You can't tell in the pic, but he is wearing his backpack. He has refused to wear it from the day he laid eyes on it, but today he wore it, and carried his lunchbox. I'll have to get a better pic on Wednesday-he looks so little lugging all that around!)

a peaceful night

What a beautiful night. We fixed latkes for the last night of Hanukkah and oyster soup for the New Year. After lighting the menorah the kids opened their last presents, which they both loved. They played happily for an hour or so, then bath and bed. It is completely peaceful here at 7:30pm. For the first day of the year, this one was lovely.